Run away

So do you ever have such a bad day that you want to run away and say good bye to everything you every knew and loved? Well let me tell you that I had one of those days yesterday.
How do we manage to get ourselves in such a predicament to lead us on a road to craziness? Is it because of the choices we make? Or the people we choose to be around? What is the definition of a bad day?
If you break it down: the definition of bad according to theFreeDictionary is "Not achieving an adequate standard; poor; disagreeable, unpleasant, or disturbing.
The definition of day according to dictionary.com states it is the period of light between two nights.
Combine the two words together and you have the time of light where you are awake and operating and having an unpleasant or disturbing time throughout. Well... That definitely sounds like my day! We are not perfect; I would like one person to tell me right now that the are perfect in every way. That they have no fault to them and that they have never had a bad day.
I know that there are numerous days where I have wanted to run away and leave everything behind but I never did.. I know people who would have decided that things were not the way they would like for it to be and leave whenever they want. They would not think twice about the people or things they are leaving behind; they would only be thinking about how to better themselves and what the next move would be. If you were going to run away where would you go? What bridges would you burn? Who would it affect and who would you hurt? Most importantly would you be hurting yourself?
Are you running away because it is the right thing to do or because it is an impulsive decision?
Like I said my day was horrible and I was ready to make that impulsive decision to run and not tell anyone of what was going on. But then sanity shined in like it does it the movies and its like a door has been opened and bright lights and warmth told me this was a crazy bold move and for me to sit back and weigh my options.
So I did. I did the only thing that can calm me down; I got in my car blasted the music and went to the park. Sure enough there was nobody there and i opened all my doors and started to dance.
I danced my heart out. I tried to be carefree and get every worry out of my mind. When clarity sank in I drove back home and went back to my daily routine.

Why do you think we get pushed to our limits all the time. Its like we are being tested.. Some people pass and others fail. Who are we to judge who the failures are though?
I don't think that I could ever run away and never look back on all that I am leaving behind. There are times when I want to get away and not think about the day; people have it tough but what kind of people are we if we always run away from bad times or hardships. Does that make us weak as a person?

Do you know?

Deep, thought provoking song. Makes you really want to question life, and if not life you question what is going on in the world. Do you know where you're going to?... Do you get what it's all about?  What do you think these lyrics are trying to say? Where are you headed with your life. No matter how young or old you have your place in life but you as a person make the choices to impact your future. 
Where will the choices you make lead you further down in life? Just like Diana Ross "my spirit is free"; I go with the flow of anything that happens. What do I (as an individual) want out of life?
I don't understand everything that happens in life nor do I try to make sense of some things. Its hard enough to get through the life you have already created for yourself; no matter what age. Nowadays, people work full-time and have all sorts of extra-curricular activities or families to take care of. Sometimes I am so caught up in life and all the current happenings that I don't know what life is all about. Don't you feel like you wake up every day and everything is planned out for you (hour by hour).
If you look at my life you will be able to tell that I am a "busy bee". I wake up every morning(5:30) and drive an hour to school. When I get out of school I either drive an hour and a half to my babysitting or work and after work I drive straight home (usually 11pm) to shower eat dinner and go to bed. I try to squeeze in a little bit of time for homework. 
Tell me where you have time to think about anything else with a schedule like mine. Think about it for a minute; when you were younger did you plan to become what you are today?
If you are at a place in your life that you are happy with are you also happy with the way you got there?
Everything about life isn't about planning... I look at it like the perfect essay (this is when you can tell that I am definitely a college student). It all starts with a thesis or a topic statement; then from there you build your outline. After your outline its all experimenting and trial and error...You never know how a paper is going to turn out until it is complete and you read the final product and make sure that it ties in with your thesis or topic statement. Just like writing a paper; people might have similar goals or ambitions (thesis or topic statement) and they make a general outline of how they want to get to their goals and ambitions but everyone has their own way to reach the conclusion and get to their goal. 
What do you think? Is it possible? Do people have the capability to sit down and plan everything in life you and actually take those steps to get there? Do people just "take life by the horns" and wherever/ however it happens they will get to a part of life that is where you want to be?
I can say that I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I AM GOING TO.. and I am fine with it. I have my whole life to live and everything is based off the choices I make.

Where the Party At (CUZ WE PARTY ALL THE TIME)

Do you ever need a night to just go out with friends and have a getaway? In my last blog post I talked about how we take advantage of nature, and how people should take the time to find that place of relaxation and peace.



I think that people also need to get a chance to get away from their usual routine and have a night to go out and enjoy themselves. I have now started a tradition with my friends where we have what I call "Wednesday FUNDAYS". We all work and have very busy schedules; we all do different things going 100 mph every second of the day that we barely get a chance to talk to one another. Wednesdays is a day that all of our schedules have a gap where we have nothing to do and can all get together and chill, party, relax and catch up. We have been doing this for three weeks now and every week our group grows a little bigger. We usually go out to sushi and after we either go to one of our houses and listen to music and catch up or go out into boston and relax.



I hope everyone has a friend or a group of friends that they have the option to do this with! It is worth it to get out and enjoy time with people you are close with and you care about; and these people have respect for you and care about you as well.



It's so much fun to get together with my friends, no night is ever the same. We always start the night with sushi and after that its an open game plan. No one knows what will happen but the night turns out AMAZING! Life is full of beautiful people, i am so lucky to know these people and I hope they feel the same about me.



On a side note, parents put such harsh restrictions on their children; I would know because I still live at home. I know that it is all in my best interest and it is because my dad cares about me, but between working full-time and being a full-time student it gets a little intense and a couple nights out a week are a must. I am now at an age that I can handle myself and the tasks I take on. I am not reckless and I dont go overboard with my outings. It always turns into a battle between my dad and I for me to get a chance to go out. Its not the point of going out that concerns him and I understand him. My dad worries that I will burn myself out and sometimes I do; that's when I cut myself off and take a break. When I say that I am a full-time student I mean that I commute to a University that is an hour away from my house 4x a week. I have a full load with a total of 5 courses. Full-time work is not so easy either; I work about 35-40 hours a week after my hour drive back from school. These hours usually consist of 3pm-11pm when we close. Then I drive home and do homework and sleep for a couple hours and wake up and do the same thing all over again.



Its normal for my dad to worry about me; especially with the type of schedule I have. What can I do? I am like other college students who need money.. I work and I make it work!



Am I wrong to have a couple nights out? Is it wrong to make my dad worry and stress over me being out even though I know that my body isn't tired and I need it so I don's go crazy?



I know there are some parents on here! Tell me what goes through your minds when your daughters and sons go out and they come home fairly late and have so many responsibilities that you worry about how they will even wake up the next morning. Do you doubt them? Do you tell them that they can't go out? Do you trust their decisions because they are the responsible young adults you raised them to be?



People/ college students/ young adults my age still living at home; do you think parents have a tight grip dometime? Don't you think that when you are taking on numerous responsibilities and balancing life fairly well that youcan deal without your parents hovering over you? It gets a little annoying when you are micro managed but what can you do...



MY FAVORITE SAYING THAT NEVER GETS OLD! "MY HOUSE MY RULES"
yup I already got that and understand it....but get my side to. I work so hard every day. I need my fun days where I get to wind down and enjoy time with friends.



What do you guys think?

Nature and Relaxation

How often do you go out and drive down the road and notice that you are completely oblivious to your surroundings? I have an hour drive to school everyday and I am so caught up in different things that I don't get a chance to enjoy my drive. 


There are numerous distractions within a car that I didn't even realize. I have my radio, dealing with other drivers around me, phone calls, traffic, stop lights, road work, speed limits, etc. There are times when you just have so much on your mind you are completely focused on your thoughts and don't take the time to take a breath and relax. 


I got home from a long day of school and work yesterday (those of you who have read past posts on my blog know that I am a workaholic and a full-time student) and went on YouTube to find some music that would relax me. Of course I picked some songs that made me sing along and dance around in my seat but nothing to wind me down from a long day and more long days to come. 
THEN I thought about the beautiful wetlands i passed on my way home from school. I felt like it was the first time I had ever seen them even though I have been driving that same route for the passed year and a half now. I decided that sounds of nature would relax me right now; and it did. The sound of the the violin, guitar and piano soothed me just like my mom would on night that there were thunderstorms outside. I closed my eyes and thought of the time that I lived in Virginia and woke up to the sun rising over the mountains and seeing the deer grazing in my front lawn. I would walk outside and sit with my two dogs and listen to the small creek running through my property and enjoying the view of the valley from my backyard. 


I can's believe all this left me when I moved back up to Boston from Roanoke, VA. I understand that both these areas are at two totally opposite spectrums of the scale.
*BOSTON*

• BIG hustling bustling city.
• Population of 618,868.
• Lively with night life.
• Freedom Trail.
• Rich historical background.
• Different cultures coming together.
• College and University town.
• Economically advanced.
• Numerous opportunities for careers.
• Parks and squares (i.e. Boston Common, Harvard Square, local city parks and reservations surrounding Boston).

*ROANOKE*

• BIG beautiful valley in the county.
• Population of 94.982. 
• Beautiful walking trails.
• Fun community activities.
• Focus on High school and College sports.
• Large parks and squares.
• Blue Ridge Parkway and conservation for people to ENJOY nature.

I know that there is a big difference between Roanoke and Boston, but I can't believe that I don't take the time to appreciate nature. Coming home last night and running into the house while getting soaked in the pouring rain and the sound of the rain hitting on my windowsill made me think of nature like I did when I was in Roanoke. 

When I found this song it made me think back; I did get to close my eyes and relax! This is what my goal was! after the song was over I opened my eyes and drew in a fresh breath of air and felt like a whole new person. I am usually one with nature. When I was a sophomore in High school I worked for the Blue Ridge Parkway as a YCC (youth conservationist). 

I think people are so caught up in their lives and everything that is happening in it that they cant take a step back and take in a small pleasure like nature. Some peoples lives are more hectic and stressful than mine. They have families to raise and take care of, bills to pay, errands, and with all that there is stress.

Why do we not take time to respect and appreciate nature? When we were children we would go to the park and climb trees, pick flowers, build a crazy imaginative world where we are rulers of the forest and everything is enchanted. Well maybe you didn't, but I did. 

Nature surrounds us. It is everywhere...

Nature is relaxing, inviting, comforting, and everything good. You can go for a walk and get away from your everyday worries and take a moment to yourself. Nature has a way of nurturing you; you can take a walk on a wooded trail and release yourself within nature. Nature will never turn you away, it will never disrespect you and it will never harm you. If you look back in literature, almost all stories talked about man with nature. What happened to that. 

I can't believe my mind is now running wild about nature and how much we as a people have changed. All these thoughts are based off one relaxing song that made me go back to the time I lived in Roanoke. I can admit that I too have pulled myself away from nature. With all that goes on in my life, I didn't realize what I was doing; I don't want to loose my ties with nature. 

Think about it: when was the last time you took time for yourself and stepped away from your busy life and took a walk and relaxed? When have you taken the time to listen to the breeze and the birds chirping around you? Have you recently taken a walk and enjoyed all the beautiful smells of the flowers and enjoyed sitting under the shade of a large comfortable tree?

Loose yourself in NATURE for a moment. Do it for your health. Do it to lower your stress and take a moment for relaxation.

Home from Work I go!

So today was a LONG day! 

My day started at 3am when my phone alarm blared "Give me Everything". Well time to get ready for a long day. My alarm was set at this time because I have to open at my work at 4:30... yeah tell me about it, long day. My work day was supposed to end at 12 noon, but i am a workaholic always looking to pick up hours. When one of my Front Desk staff told me that they had to go to a meeting and was wondering if I could cover his shift I took him up on it right away. 

I covered my staff's shift from noon to 5:15pm but my day didn't end there.

At 5:30pm I had to be at babysitting and that went until 8:30. 

Let me tell you something; today felt GREAT! even though I was up at 3am; I was wired come 3pm. At one point I was so hyper I was speaking in a British accent (only because the first member to walk into my work was speaking with a British accent) and I felt the need to carry it out throughout the rest of the day. 

I love to work!!! I don't think I could live without working, I would go crazy. This song suits me so well; everyday it is off to work I go. If its not work it is school; I go straight from school to work and from work to home to sleep then start the whole cycle all over again.

It's like the seven dwarfs. They wake up in the morning and without hesitation they get out of bed and put a happy face on and with a little jingle they go to work. 

Well time for bed. then its off to school and work I go!

Im Daddy's Lil' Girl

So a little bit about myself. A couple of days ago it was raining and I hadn't heard from my dad in a couple of hours (I live at home with my dad and his girlfriend). I hate when it rains because it makes me sit at home and think of all the depressing things that have happened in my life; one of the most depressing was the divorce between my parents.

I was eight years old at the time of the divorce and it was very hard on me. I remember seeing my dad carrying suitcases out of the house and asking where he was going and getting no response. At the age of eight of course I am not going to understand what is going on...but everything happened so quickly. I was so confused as to why my dad was never home. He was a hard worker; he owned two businesses and would leave at 5am and come home at 11pm everyday. All this was done to give his family a good life, well that life was now shattered.

Everyone's worlds had changed at this point. I didn't see my dad for the longest time and I wasn't understanding why he wasn't coming home. My mom's parents and brother moved into our home to help with watching us that way my mom could work and go to school. at the time I was in a private Armenian Elementary school which i had gotten pulled out of my at the end of fourth grade. Fifth grade i got placed in public school and I changed as a person. I saw all the destruction withing my family and tried to be the one who was strong for everyone else.

I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I wanted my dad to be home; and all our usual family friends over for cookout and events at the house. Why did it feel like everything that we built up was just crumbling down. Do parents really take the time to think of what they are doing when they have kids and what could happen if the marriage doesn't work out? I'm sure they do, and i really wouldn't know because i am only 23. As a child who suffered from this; its hard to see what people think of when they go through a divorce. Do they think about the future of their children and how they are going to be effected?

I didn't want my dad to leave. Even though he was in the same town; literally 5 miles away from our home, I only saw him once a week. Those years are a time in my life that I can't get back, and how can i not hate my mom and dad a little bit for putting me through this?

Am I being selfish? Am I looking at this in the wrong light?

Hello 12 hello 13

Sitting in class today and thinking about my life, I reminisced on my high school career and how I missed my carefree life. I remember having no worries: waking up, going to school, doing homework, watching TV, listening to music, hanging out with friends, playing in school sports teams, etc.

In class we were working on case studies and thought about what we would do if we took on the role of being a CEO or a VP of a certain company. What would we do to correct the problems that were brought up in the study? Wow! I am so close to entering the real world and officially becoming an adult. Where has the time gone?

I remember worrying the first day of high school because it was a new environment and I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Throughout my high school career I feel like I have grown as a person. I have had my rebellious stage (and still do from time to time). There is a lot i still have to learn, but life is a learning experience and I feel that every day through all the experiences I have and the people that I meet I become a stronger, better person.

When do you know when you are ready for the world? What obstacles do you face and how do you overcome them? Remember the days when mom and dad would always be by your side? The people who brought you into this world now watch you grow into a young adult. First step is graduating High School; next step is college and graduating college. Throughout your life, you are always growing as a person. What's next? The world is such a big adventure. There is so much to offer and it is all in your hands. Your choices make you the person you are, and take you where you want to go. How do you get to certain points in your life?
Is it the culture you are brought up in?
Is it your family life?
Is it where you grew up (i.e. town, region, state, country)?

I digress, when we are younger we have no worries. I take that back; we worry about what we are going to wear to school and if we are going to do our homework or not. When we turn 16 we start thinking about our futures. Counselors in high school start talking to students about SAT's and our futures. Things go from carefree and fun to "Think now about your future, your grades help determine what you want to do with your life!" thats scary!

When did life become so serious?

There is a lot that I am not certain of in my life, but the choices I make today impact tomorrow. The carefree days are over with.

Please Don't Leave me now!

So last night was probably one of my saddest nights since early May. It was a typical day for me. I went to work, relaxed, did some homework and went to the park. I got a phone call from my best friend Diana earlier in the day asking me if I wanted to go out with her later on. We made plans to meet up and  go out and do what we girls do best: "RAGE"!  and our personal favorite "ZONETIME"!

RAGE- a time when Natalie and Diana go out and let loose and enjoy themselves. Whether it be: going to Boston and walk around making new friends, shopping, chilling at one of our houses, eating at the Cheesecake Factory, going out to the night clubs etc.

When I got to her house we chilled for a bit and its great because Diana and I dont need to say a word and we can tell whats going on and each others mood. Its fairly interesting and creepy at the same time. In the short time that we have been friends (4 months) we have learned everything about each other, I can say that Diana is one of two people in Boston who knows me so well. I know, I know... you are thinking to yourselves; this girl is crazy. She has only known Diana for four months and they think they are that close? But we are. We can tell each other anything and its scary how much we are right on the ball if we take a guess as to what is going on in each others lives. Its shocking that i didn't see what was coming next; this could have ended the Saga of Natalie and Diana...

When I left her place she called me and told me that there was some trouble in paradise. There was some news that had freaked her out and she didn't want to tell me because she knew that it would freak me out. Well guess what, I am now freaking out! She told me how there were some things going on at her work and there was a possibility that she might have to be relocated. What? Time out. I cant hear this right now. My best friend, really; one of the few things I have in Boston could now be gone? It wasn't fair, I just had a friend come into my life and just like that she is getting taken away? Who can I lodge a formal complaint to?


I felt like someone just knocked the wind out of me, This is disastrous, I wanted to pull over on the side of the highway and get some air because the thought of loosing a friend so close to me. Just like those castles in the sky;  they make me realize that reality hurts. Where is my happily Ever after?
What happens when someone who has had such an impact in your life just disappears? It's a shock. 

do you ever question your life?

DJ MYSTIC - Castles in the Sky

Today was such a beautiful day outside. I had to open at my job, but that gave me the opportunity to get off of work at noon and I took advantage of the beautiful weather. Right when i walked out of the front door of my work I felt the sun welcome me with its warmth and I felt the brisk Autumn approaching with gentle winds. I know I am 23 years old but my inner child always has to have a chance to reveal herself on a daily basis and I decided to go to the park. I grabbed one of my textbooks and my soccer ball and walked down the road to the park. After exhausting myself; I laid down in the grass and just stared up at the sky and took a moment to myself. Staring at the clouds, I thought I saw a castle in the clouds and then I thought what my life would be like if I lived in a fairy tale and I was a princess. It made me think of the movies I watched when I was a kid: Cinderella, Snow White, The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast.
When was my Prince Charming coming for me? Is my life going to be like the fairy tales i read and watched as a child? Is it possible to live in a castle with my prince and live "Happily ever after" or was that something that movies and books portray to keep hope in children that there is a better tomorrow somewhere? Is this the best I can do with my life right now? So much is now running through my mind and all this from a cloud? Wow. 
I love how a simple day in the park turns into me questioning myself as a person. The song Castles in the Sky is exactly what i did. I looked up into the sky and started daydreaming. Why i saw that castle in the sky? I don't know why, but that's what I saw and i went with it. 
My mind started to travel like Alice did when she fell down that hole and ended up in wonderland. What was real and what was fake. Everything was like a dream; my imagination took a hold and i went with it. I closed my eyes and thought of my life up til now and what I would and could do to change it. All from a cloud in the sky. 
The simplest things (like clouds in the sky) can entertain and amuse all. One has to stop and take time for themselves. In a world full of hustle and bustle there is bound to be a breaking point. 
Life does have a "Happily ever after" that comes from the choices you make and how you live your life. 


Just like the song asks:
Do you ever question your life? Do you ever wonder why?
Do you ever see in your dreams? Are the castles in the sky?


Oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky?


Everyone is always questioning their lives, I think its in our nature. We always wonder what we could have done differently to get a better result but it is only a guessing game. 

About Me - Hello and Welcome

Hello and Welcome

My name is Natalie and I am a senior at Fitchburg State University. I am a Professional Communications major. In one of my courses I am to put together a blog, this is my first time doing something like this so any advice you have for me would be greatly appreciated. 

My life revolves around music; every time I have an experience of some sort I relate it to a song. I live life and every day that i live I see something or do something and relate it to music. By music I don't mean pop - culture and everything we hear on the radio on a regular basis; it can simply be beats, lyrics to a song, or the feel I get from a song. 


So with that, Welcome to my page!